REFLECTION: The Most Overlooked Tool for Shaping Your Future

Every decision you make, every goal you set, and every challenge you face is shaped by one thing: the story you tell yourself about who you are.

Whether the numbers in a report or the events in your life, the story you create from them gives them meaning.

If you want to take control of your future, you must first take ownership of your past.

That means revisiting pivotal moments in your life, reexamining the stories you’ve attached to them, and asking yourself how they’ve shaped who you are today.

Your Past Shapes Your Present—and Your Future

The events of your past don’t define you, but the meaning you assign to them does. For example, as a military BRAT who moved every six months to three years, I grew up conditioned to always look forward—to the next place and opportunity. Reflection was rarely a part of that equation.

Reflecting on my upbringing, I've learned that this constant forward motion left gaps in my understanding of who I am. Revisiting those experiences—like becoming a father or seeing how my relationships evolved—helped me see how much I had overlooked. Those moments shaped me in ways I hadn’t fully appreciated until I stopped to reflect.

Reflection Isn’t Easy—But It’s Essential

Slowing down to reflect isn’t natural for many high-performers. We’re wired to move fast, create, and build. But without reflection, we risk carrying narratives that don’t serve us—or worse, repeating patterns that hold us back.

Reflecting on the last 10 years of my life, I realized how much meaning I had missed in key moments. Events like becoming a dad or watching my wife grow into her person carried lessons I hadn’t fully absorbed. By revisiting those stories with fresh eyes, I gained clarity about who I am today and what matters most.

Why Reflection Matters for Your Future

Here’s the bottom line: The only thing you can control about the future is your actions today. And those actions are informed by how well you understand yourself—your values, decisions, and the stories that drive them.

Reflection isn’t just about looking back; it’s about reconnecting with who you are so you can move forward with intention. It’s a powerful process that builds a stronger foundation for the person you want to become.

Reflection is about reconnecting with who you are so you can move forward with intention. It’s a powerful process that builds a stronger foundation for the person you want to become.

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TAKE Action 

Pause and reflect on one pivotal moment from your past this week.

Ask yourself:

• What story have I attached to this event?

• How has it shaped who I am today?

Use that insight to guide one decision or action toward the future you want to create.

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